Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Energy Draining People as Boundary Teachers



We all have had the experience of being around people who drain our energy. As a general rule, energy draining people are not bad, they are often just sweet people doing their thing, a little unconsciously...but, especially if you deal with a lot of people, good boundaries become very important. With good boundaries we can deal with many people, but we get to set limits on our time and how much we choose to give.

Many "light-love-holders" and "healers" are very magnetic for people who do not have a direct inward connection to Source. Or for people who are going through stuff and are looking for healing and support to move upwards. There is nothing wrong with this, as especially young souls may take a while to find their own Source connection when in a body, but the "healers and love holders" need to be mindful of this phenomena, as if they allow for too much energy draining, they can become sick and tapped out.

Learning how much to give and to whom and when, is part of the growth lessons on the healer's path, as we learn that we cant be all things to all people, at all times. And of the ways in which we may mistake healing for taking on other people's stuff.

Energetic balance is one of the main reason for which healers charge for their services, because there is only so much time and energy that one can dedicate to anothers growth. Setting the space through which healing energy is extended is something difficult to measure, and yet it is a very real form of effort, that anybody that is a healer understands quite well. It is only fair that it be rewarded with equal exchange, so that the healer can then have the resources to rest, recharge, eat healthy food etc., which allow him or her to continue to be a good vehicle for healing energy while maintaining a good quality of life.

The people who do not charge for services are usually either independently wealthy, have a mate who pays their bills or...have poor boundaries and usually develop illness in the long run, due to depletion.  Remember therefore to always honor your fellow healers, as they sit with you and assist you in creating a place for your own growth and progress.And as a healer, remember to always honor yourself though whatever represents fair exchange for you, so that you do not become depleted.

Back to the energy draining people. When to draw the line. I find that the line needs to be drawn with the repeat offender boundary breakers, who do not take no for an answer. Usually these people have some degree of narcissistic personality, where they literally cannot hear you saying no. These people can become true energy vampires and sometimes, we literally have to limit their presence in our lives (if we want to keep some energy that is).

In general, however, most people who drain our energy will respond to good boundaries. People are often not mean, they are just unconscious and taking what they feel is available, due to our own unspoken messages about our own availability. Energy drainers are therefore good boundary teachers. They can give us great opportunities to learn to say no and to get clear about how much we choose to give, what is our responsibility and what is other people's; and the places where we are taking on the lessons that belong to others.We may have our own unconscious motivations to be a rescuer and helper, which can be our own way to feel better about ourselves, and looking at these areas of unconsciousness can also be useful.

If you find you attract tons of energy draining types into your life, make sure to check your self esteem and the unspoken rules  and psychic contracts by which you live your life (often learned in childhood from enmeshed parents or from past life agreements that are still ticking in the back of your psyche, such as old healer vows and oaths of service more appropriate to other times). You may have some old vows to let go of or some old beliefs and contracts that need updating to present time. You may have to learn that your energy is precious and that nobody has a right to your energy and time, without your consent. While you may choose to give some of your time and energy away, it is ok to say no or protect your energy, especially from those who regularly steal it ;-)

When not being zapped energetically, you will also find yourself to be more effective in the world, therefore becoming a more efficient helper for the community at large.

In general, spend a few minutes each day cutting energy cords, especially at the end of the day. And make sure to always call back your own energy, asking for it to be cleansed before it reunites your energy field. This little moment of mindfulness alone, done daily, can help in keep your energy field intact and balanced.

I hope this was useful :-)

Much love  x x

Katie

1 comment:

AarTiana said...

Well put Katie! Even for people that really need services and have cash flow issues, it is still good to ask for a fair energy exchange for service. Part of that is to keep the balance so no depletion happens, and part of this is for the recipient of services to VALUE and implement what is being offered for them. When it is "free" it is seen as not valuable and therefore not worthy of implementation - thus draining for the provider AND doing no good for the intended recipient. The value must be perceived as an equal exchange from both (or all) parties for this to work well I have discovered. You are awesome Katie!